Spike The Collector Of Overdue Library Books
by Fircoal
Summary: Twilight realizes that there's some overdue library books and tasks Spike to get them back for her. However things don't go as they seem.


Twilight sighed as she gazed at the scroll that was planted in front of her. "I can't believe the ponies haven't turned in their books yet."  
"What?" Spike shouted at he was walking by. Quickly he scurried right next to Twilight and looked over her shoulder to see the scroll she was looking at, a list of overdue library books.  
"None of the ponies that took out books from here have returned them yet," Twilight sighed.  
"You mean ponies actually check out books from here?" Spike shouted in surprise.  
"Well," Twilight muttered to herself.  
"Well what?" Spike asked. He looked down the list and upon seeing the names he gave Twilight a suspicious glare. "Why are the only people on this list our friends?"  
"Well, I felt that Ponyville needed to have more books in their life," Twilight tired to explain.  
"You guilt tripped our friends into reading?" Spike asked appalled at the idea.  
"It was for their own good!" Twilight quickly defended.  
"You can't just force them to read!" Spike replied. "It's no wonder they haven't returned their books yet! They probably forgot about them by now!"  
"Well then I'm going to have to make them remember them!" Twilight shouted raising her hook into the air.  
"No you don't!" Spike replied. "Haven't you tortured them enough! Why don't you pick on someone who you haven't forced into reading."  
Twilight then looked at her adopted little brother with an evil glint in her eye. He quickly gulped and started running away.

-

Spike sighed as he carried his feet along the dirt road path. "I can't believe she's making ME recover all those books that SHE forced upon her friends." He sighed. "I guess it's better than having to read that icky mushy romance novel that Twilight was going to recommend for me." He then looked left and right and upon seeing no one he admitted, "Besides his earlier works were better anyway."  
Spike held up the scroll that Twilight gave him listing all the overdue library books that he had to collect. "I guess I better start with the start," he muttered to himself. He gazed at the first name. "Fluttershy. I wonder what book she checked out." He then looked at the book title. "The advanced sciences of small furry animals... Sounds cute."  
"It is cute!" a happy high pitched voice replied from behind him.  
"What?" Spike shouted before spinning around to see Pinkie Pie looking down at the young Dragon. "Why are you here? Are you stalking me?"  
"No silly Dragon!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "I'm following you!"  
Spike sighed. "That's the same thing!"  
"It is? Oopsie!"  
"Why are you following me?" Spike asked with a groan.  
"Well I saw you muttering something about romance novels and I decided to have some fun," Pinkie Pie replied.  
"I do not read romance novels!" Spike quickly shouted his cheeks turning a shade of red in an instant.  
"I never said you did," Pinkie happily smiled.  
"Good because I don't!" Spike said looking away from the horse.  
"Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" Pinkie replied.  
Spike sighed in relief. Then he replied the list. "Hey Pinkie! I think you checked out a book from the library that needs to be returned. He brought out the scroll and went to look at what book it was but by the time he was done the Pink pony had vanished.  
Spike sighed yet again. "That pony is one mystery."

The young dragon made his way up to Fluttershy's house. As he got close to it he noticed that there was a lovely melody that was playing around the house. It soothed the young dragons ear; despite his annoyance at the errand he was running his mouth turned from a frown to a toothy smile. It felt as if his steps were no longer against the harsh ground but rather the air.  
"What is that great music?" Spike asked himself.  
He soon saw his answer as he noticed a large group of birds singing on a branch with Fluttershy right under them adoring them.  
"How do you do that?" Spike asked as he noticed Fluttershy.  
"Oh," Fluttershy squeaked. The birds lost their concentration and stared at the dragon who had interrupted their performance for their friend. Not a bird did anything but it was clear that they were angry.

Somewhere In the depths of the author's mind.  
"FUCK THIS SHIT!"  
The Minccino exploded.

-  
"Oops! I'm sorry!" Spike said as he noticed he was the cause of the birds stopping. "I just came here to check up on that book that Twilight forced on you."  
"You mean it wasn't a gift?" Fluttershy squeaked. She looked even more flustered and threw her gaze away from the dragon.  
"No, apparently it wasn't," Spike said rolling his eyes.  
"But she was begging and pleading for me to take it," Fluttershy softly said. "I thought that meant she wanted me to keep it."  
Spike sighed and muttered to himself "I think I need to have a talk with my sister about proper and improper ways to act." He then turned to the yellow pony and sighed. "I'm sorry Fluttershy. I think my sister just wanted all her friends to read. They were never hers to give."  
"Oh," Fluttershy sighed.  
"I could try to get her to give it to you know. Maybe we could buy a new copy," Spike said hoping his idea would cheer up the poor yellow pony.  
"Really you'd do that for me?" Fluttershy asked. She looked up admiringly at Spike, happy that he was willing to go out of his way to help her out. "I don't think I can let you guys do that for me."  
"Don't worry," Spike said. "We're friends. Besides it wasn't your fault you thought it was yours to keep."  
"Oh good!" Fluttershy softly said. She then looked away even more. "That would be really helpful because a couple of rabbits kind of ate it." As her sentence went on her sentence slowly slipped off into a whisper.  
"Rabbits what?" Spike asked scratching his head.  
"They ate it," Fluttershy repeated softer than before.  
"Huh?" Spike asked getting more and more confused.  
Fluttershy started squeaking and flew back behind her house. "I guess that means they did something to it that means I can't get it back," Spike rationalized. "Well now I don't know what to do! I guess I should just check up on the other ponies. It doesn't really matter what happened if I'm going to buy it back for her anyway. I guess I just have to see how much damage Twilight did with the other ponies.

He then shrugged and walked off towards Applejack's house. When he got there he noticed the sight of the cutie mark crusaders playing out in the front yard happily skipping around Applejack, as if they wanted something from her. What they wanted he couldn't guess but he could guess that probably whatever it was it was going to bring a burden to the poor farm pony. He wondered if this would be a good time to bother her, but then the words of his sister Twilight echoed in his mind, "I need those books back by sundown or else I'll be ... TARDY" Or maybe he was confusing incidents.  
Regardless of what Twilight said he knew from the tone in her voice that she really wanted him to get all the books back to her by sundown; already being down one book that means he couldn't just wimp out on getting the next book just because a pony looked like they were busy or hand their hands full, he was going to be as assertive as Fluttershy is not and grab that book.  
He put his hands into fists and held his head higher than Rarity. He waltzed over to where Applejack was to start their business. Of course since he was trying to carry his head high he didn't notice the little fillies that were by Applejack, so to say he easily tripped over the body of Applebloom, sending him flying onto the ground.  
"Are ya alright sugarcube?" asked Applejack leaning her head down to Spike to see if in fact he was doing alright.  
Spike groaned and rubbed his head muttering, "Yea I think I'm alright." He looked up and down his body inspecting it and noting that yes there were no awful nasty wounds he'd have to worry about. A couple of scratches but a dragon could handle that. Unfortunately he soon noticed that even if he could, paper couldn't as he looked down at the scroll list of books and notice it had nicely torn itself into two pieces. He was tempted to go into a fit of rage but knowing that his friends were here, and that he had a mission to do stopped him from doing that. Instead he sighed and got up facing Applejack.  
"Glad to hear that," Applejack said patting her front hoof down on Spike's head. "So what are you doing here?"  
"I have some official business-"  
"From Canterlot, what do they want with my sister?" Applebloom interrupted.  
"They don't want anything from your sister!" Spike shouted.  
"Then why are they sending her a letter?" Sweetie Belle asked.  
"And why don't they want anything from her?" Applebloom asked. "She's the bestest sister a girl could have!"  
"They didn't send a letter!" Spike shouted at them. "The business isn't a matter of Canterlot!"  
"Oh," the three young ponies said in unison.  
Spike sighed in relief.  
"So then a what did ya want sugarcube?" Applejack asked.  
"I have business from Twilight," Spike said. "She said something about this book that you checked out." He pulled out the two shards of the paper and put them together to read, "The Adventures of the Farm Pony?"  
"Oh that book," Applejack groaned.  
"Is that the book that we used as a table-holder?" Applebloom asked.  
Applejack blushed and looked away. "Yes," she muttered.  
"Well apparently it's a library book," Spike replied.  
"It is?" Applejack asked surprised.  
"Yes," Spike said. "Although I highly doubt that any certain pony I know had told you that. Cause so far Fluttershy didn't know that either."  
"She gave a book to Fluttershy too?" Applejack asked. "When she gave me my book, she told me she was only going to stop at one book!"  
"Huh?" Spike asked. "What are you talking about?" Spike was now genuinely confused. Where was he when all of this happened.  
"A couple of weeks ago Twilight was feeling a bit down in the dumps, so ah decided to try to help her out. Apparently her idea of fun is reading a book together. She had some business to do later so she left me with the rest of the book and told me to read it so we could discuss it later."  
"Why does that sound so like Twilight?" Spike sighed.  
"Because this is Twilight we're talking about," Applejack replied.  
"So then where is that book now?" Spike asked.  
"Ah don't know. Last time ah saw it, it was being used to prop up our old dinner table."  
"Well about that," Applebloom nervously said, slowly backing up from the bigger pony and dragon. The other cutie mark crusaders followed her.  
"What about what?" Applejack asked.  
"Applebloom wanted to see what you were reading!" Sweetie Belle announced.  
"And when she didn't like it, and saw what you were doing with it we decided to use it for our waterskiing cutie mark!" Scootaloo added.  
"But books crumble in water," Spike said.  
"And that's what happened to the book," Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle announced proudly.  
Spike and Applejack applied their forehands to their foreheads and groaned.

Spike groaned as he made he way over to the next stop, Rainbow Dash's house. He wasn't sure how Twilight was able to get Rainbow of all ponies to get a book, although it did seem she was reading more often than before. Or more rather she was reading behind the back of ponies more often. Regardless he had to wonder what happened to the book that Rainbow had.  
"Ooh! I know!" chimed an excited and happy voice. Spike turned around and there was Pinkie Pie jumping up and down right behind Spike. Spike sighed.  
"What is it then Pinkie Pie?" Spike asked.  
"It's in the trash!" Pinkie Pie cheered happily.  
"What! Why would Rainbow just throw a book a friend gave to her in the trash! Isn't that a bit rude?"  
"Silleh Spikey-Wikey, Dashie didn't throw it away, some other pony did."  
"You really think Dash would reveal her secret like for reading to anyone but us? I highly doubt it," Spike logically said.  
"Well okey-dokey-lokey," Pinkie Pie replied.  
"Now while we're on the subject of books, you took out a book," Spike started taking out the shards of paper and looking at it to see what Pinkie too but by the time he finished looking and looked up the pink pony was gone. Spike grumbled and stumbled over to Rainbow's house.  
He noticed it was high up in the sky. Obviously has he had no wings there was no way that he was going to be able to get up then. Then just how was he going to be able to talk to Rainbow Dash.  
"I know!" Pinkie Pie happily said jumping right on top of Spike.  
"What this time?" Spike groaned.  
"This!" Pinkie Pie said pointing at a pink hot air balloon in the distance.  
"Isn't that a bit girly?" Spike muttered.  
"Not as girly as those romance novels you read," Pinkie teased.  
"I do not read romance novels!" Spike loudly shouted at her.  
"Surreeeeee," Pinkie giggled. "Come on hop in!" The pink pony then hopped into the hot air balloon and Spike seeing how he had no other choice jumped in with her.  
The pink balloon floated up towards the sky. Spike looked up in wonder as he saw the luxurious cloud home of Rainbow Dash float closer and closer into view. Of course this nice view was partially ruined by the wobbliness of the balloon caused from a pink pony jumping up and down in its carriage. Spike would have asked her to stop jumping up and down but he figured if he did he'd probably only cause something worse for the friend to do.  
The balloon made its wait up to the cloud and the Rainbow citizen noticing its arrival came out to greet it. "Pinkie Pie what are you doing now?" Rainbow Dash groaned.  
"I'm visiting a good friend!" Pinkie Pie replied jumping out of the balloon and right onto Rainbow Dash's backside.  
"Careful!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "You know you can't walk on clouds unless Twilight prepared that spell."  
"How do you know-?" Pinkie started only to be interrupted by Spike.  
"She didn't."  
Rainbow Dash sighed. "So what are you doing here Spike?"  
"I came on official business from Twilight," Spike answered.  
"Of course," Rainbow chuckled. "What did she do? Accidentally put a book on the wrong shelf."  
"No, that was yesterday," Spike muttered. "She noticed that a couple of ponies have overdue library books and requested for me to gather them. You happen to have one."  
"What!" Rainbow squealed. "I don't read."  
Both Pinkie and Spike gave her a suspicious glare although it was hard to tell whether Pinkie was actually glaring or staring intently at the cloud below her.  
"We know you read," Spike said. "I was there when you took out that Daring Doo book!"  
"It was just one book!"  
"It was fifteen!"  
"You know what! I don't need to listen to you! You don't know what I do with my time!" Rainbow groaned, turning away. Pinkie quickly swung herself around so that her face would still be looking at the section of cloud that she was so intently staring at before.  
"You know what," Spike groaned. "That's not important! What's important is that you took out a book from the Ponyville library and I've been told to collect it. It's signed under YOUR name as taken. YOU are responsible for the book. Now where is it?"  
Rainbow groaned and knew that she wasn't going to be able to get out of it. "What book are you talking about?" she muttered softly.  
"The Adventures of King Arthurony," Spike read.  
"Eh, that book?" Rainbow asked. "I gave that to Scootaloo."  
"What?" Spike muttered now becoming more frustrated.  
"Yea," Rainbow said. "It was NOTHING like Daring Doo, and the grammar was so weird. That pipsqueak wanted the book though for some reason so I humored her."  
Spike groaned. "Guess I'll have to check with her."  
"Yea, and leave me alone for the next couple of hours, I have rest to catch up on," Rainbow replied.  
Rainbow then started strutting back towards her cloudhouse. Pinkie who was still fixated on the spot of cloud couldn't leave it behind and jumped at the spot, in predicable fashion she fell through the cloud to the ground far far below. Spike sighed. "Can this day just be over?" he groaned.

Next up on his list was either to find Pinkie Pie again and try to get her book, find the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were back at Applejacks or to go over the wonderful and lovely Rarity and see if she still had her book. He couldn't tell which he would rather do. He was putting off going to see Rartiy because he felt very nervous about the whole thing and didn't want to blow it. Remember, one always has to put their best foot forward. On the other hand he didn't really want to deal with Pinkie Pie or the Cutie Mark Crusaders, especially since he doubted either of them actually had their book or anything like it.  
Luckily, or unluckily for the poor Dragon fate decided to choose for him as Rarity came waltzing down Mane Street holding her head up high and a large amount of fashion supplies over her head. She noted Spike and stopped before him. "Good afternoon Spike," she greeted. "How are you doing today?"  
Spike blushed and held in the squeal that Rarity was deciding to talk to him rather than the other way around. Quickly he tried to gain his cool and composure and coolly replied, "I'm doing alright."  
Rarity noticed the sweat and some what of a foul odor from the dragon and somehow doubted that. "Are you sure?" she asked.  
Spike quickly started to sweat more and he turned his head away.  
"Is something bothering you?" Rarity asked, moving to the dragon's side trying to look him in the eye.  
"It's nothing important," Spike softly said.  
"That sure sounds like something," Rarity replied. She then paused and asked, "Hey Spike how would you like to go over to my house for a cup of tea!"  
"I'd love that!" Spike happily said. He quickly stopped blushing and ran all the way to Rarity's house. She chuckled following right behind him.  
When they got into the house she put all of her supplies neat and organized around her inspiration room and started boiling water for the two of them.  
"So what's the matter?" Rarity asked to the dragon who had taken a seat at her kitchen table eagerly waiting for the tea.  
"It isn't much," Spike replied. "I just have to collect overdue library books from Twilight but so far I haven't found even one book!"  
"Overdue library books?" Rarity paused. "You mean she actually keeps track of that."  
"It's Twilight," Spike replied. "She keeps track of everything."  
"Regardless, what makes it so important that they all need to be collected today? I'm sure the world won't end if they're late another day," Rarity replied.  
Spike shrugged. "I don't know, but Twilight said she wanted them by the end of the day and I can't really question what she says."  
"I suppose," Rarity shrugged.  
Spike then gulped and summoned his inner strength. "You know-" he started looking up from the table to her beautiful blue eyes. He found that he couldn't do it and he stopped there.  
"I know what?" Rarity asked seeming confused.  
"Nothing," Spike replied with a sigh.  
"Are you sure?" Rarity asked back.  
"No..." Spike softly muttered to himself.  
Rarity sighed. "You know you're just going to cause trouble for yourself by holding it in."  
"It's just you have an overdue library book too," Spike shouted quickly.  
"That's it?" Rarity muttered. "You know I can handle turning in a book, I can even handle the fees. I don't remember checking out any books though. What book was it?"  
"It was the Secret Love Of the Noblepony," Spike replied looking at the list. He then realized just what book that was and internally raged at Twilight giving that book so readily away to one of her friends.  
"That book!" Rarity shouted.  
"What's wrong with that book?" Spike quickly defended, his book choice pride now at stake.  
"That book was nothing but pure mush! Now I can enjoy a good well written romance from time to time but it has to be well written, not sappy," Rarity said. "The only reason why I even have that monstrosity of a book is because Twilight forced it upon me!"  
"It is well written!" Spike replied. "It's a heartwarming tale of a lover who wanted to be with their love and they did anything for each other, even if they had significant differences."  
"There was no conflict!" Rarity replied. "The two were going to be together no matter what, and really I can't count all the romance cliches that were written in there."  
"They're only cliche because their good!" Spike shouted in reply.  
"Or overrated," Rarity muttered.  
"Are not!" Spike shouted back.  
"Why are you defending the book?" Rarity asked. Suddenly she grinned and giggled. "Did somepony enjoy reading it?"  
Spike quickly broke out into a blush and looked away. "No," he muttered.  
"Are you sure?" Rarity asked trying to see the blush across the Dragon's face.  
"Well a little bit," he admitted.  
"Well don't worry," Rarity chuckled. "I'm sure you'll be happier owning it then I would, so I'll just give the book to you and you can be on your way. Well, after the tea of course."  
Spike blushed and nodded.  
Rarity then got up and cruised over to the area where she kept all of her books. She looked through the organized pile and noticed that the book was not there. "Huh?" she muttered to herself until she saw a note lying right next to the bookcase. After she read it all she could do was loudly groan, "Sweetie Belle!"

In the end it was all useless. When he found out the CMC had yet another book he knew he would go after them. But as soon as he inquired he learned that those other books were also used for their waterskiing adventure. In other words they took the unwanted books of their inspirations and sisters, and used them for their waterskiing. The fact that none of the other ponies even noticed until then only adds to the idea that the ponies never even wanted those books in the first place. Boy did Spike hope his sister would learn a lesson from this, or at the very least be nice when he came home with nothing.  
He opened up the treehouse door and he saw Twilight on the ground shaking like a nervous wreck.  
"Are you ok?" Spike asked quickly dropping his annoyance towards the books, the situation and his sister and picking up concern for the state of his sister. He sat next to her and started to run his hand down her back hoping that it would soothe her.  
"Did you get the books?" Twilight coldly replied.  
"Well..." Spike sighed with hesitation. "No."  
Twilight let out a cry of pain and stared crying into her hooves.  
"It's not the end of the world," Spike said going back to petting his friend. "They're just going to be a day or a couple late." He didn't dare to think to tell her about how most of them had been destroyed.  
"Yes it is!" Twilight cried.  
"How?" Spike asked. "Just give me one good reason."  
"The Mayor is going to check in tonight on whether I have the book she wants and if I don't she's going to hire a new librarian."  
"That IS bad," Spike agreed. "But what book was it? Maybe we can get it?"  
"I don't know!" Twilight cried. "All I know is it was one of those five books! She came for it today but it wasn't here and she's coming tomorrow for it, and I need to have it."  
"Oh great," Spike groaned.  
Twilight sighed. "What are we going to do?"  
"I don't know," Spike sighed along with her. "I don't think there's much we can do. Most of the books aren't lost, they're destroyed."  
"What?" Twilight shout. "Why would my friends do that to a precious book!"  
"Well it's more like why would the cutie mark crusaders and the animals do that to a precious book," Spike corrected.  
"Oh," Twilight said suddenly understanding it all.  
"I'm sorry," Spike sighed hugging his sister.  
"Don't worry," she replied. "It's not your fault. I'm sure we'll get through this, somehow."  
The two sighed and continued in their embrace both worrying about the situation, eventually falling asleep and waiting for their time here to end.

"Rise and shine!" Pinkie yelled into the ears of Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Both of them quickly jumped up hitting against each other and yelling in pain.  
"What is it?" Twilight groaned.  
"Are we getting kicked out?" Spike muttered.  
"Kicked out? Why would you be being kicked out?" Pinkie giggled happily.  
"Because we couldn't find the book that the mayor wanted," Spike groaned.  
"Of course you couldn't silly," Pinkie giggled. "That's because I kept it nice and safe for the mayor."  
"What!" Spike and Twilight quickly replied.  
"I took out that book so it would be safe and sound from the mayor and just like a charm I gave it to her and she was happy!" Pinkie cried.  
"So I'm not fired?" Twilight asked.  
"Nope," Pinkie happily said.  
"That's good. But if you knew about this the whole time, why didn't you just give your book back to Spike?" Twilight asked.  
"Spike was looking for books?" Pinkie asked.  
Twilight then turned her glare to the young Dragon who now had started to curl up and shake.  
"Well you see, I never got to finish asking her," Spike replied with a squeak.  
"Spike!" Twilight shouted.  
And that's how Equestria was made. Maybe someday I'll tell you how I got my cutie mark.  
"Actually I think this story was about how Spike got grounded for the next two weeks," Pinkie said. "And it's a shame too. I know the Cutie Mark Crusaders were hoping to listen to him talk about romance novels."  
"Pinkie... Shut up."  
"Okey-Dokey-Lokey!" Pinkie happily chimed.  
One of the birds from before still angry then added "You know you're not getting me to shut-"  
"FUCK THIS SHIT!"  
The Minccino exploded.


End file.
